Break

I'm taking a short break from the blog.  Just a bit too much going on right now.  Will update soon! :)

Fucked Up Friday

Welcome to another edition of the beloved "Fucked Up Friday".  On "Fucked Up Friday" we will examine something that happened to me that is truly fucked up, a story from a friend that was fucked up, or just something about society that is fucked up.   Feel free to vomit in the comments afterward.

So I'm out with a friend driving and we see this...

This guy is clearly distracted, but we've all seen that.  Texting...seen it.  Smoking...seen it.  Texting and smoking...seen it and changed lanes.  But this is a new one for even me....

So not only was this guy smoking, texting, and driving, but he was was also using a gay sex app.  

Luckily, we survived...not sure about him, though.

What's the most distracted driver you have ever seen?

Next Episode:  Saturday's Subscriber Solicitation...

Thursday's Theory: Whore Numbers

Another Thursday Theory has arrived.  On Thursdays we will look into one of my crazy or dead on theories.  These will be all over the board, and most are just my observation.  So don't get all upset and huffy puffy.

Yesterday, I asked what number of dicks, asses, or pussies, makes you a whore?

I got some responses, the best one is this formula...

(Your Age/2) + 7 ≤ Number of sexual partners

If after solving this equation you find it to be true using your numbers, you are a whore.  Mathematically speaking of course.  

If it proves false, you're still not a whore.

I'm not a whore...got some work to do.

So post your results in the comments below!

Next Episode:  Fucked Up Friday...

Wednesday's with Whorie

Welcome to Wednesday's with Whorie...

Today and in future installments we will review the multiple types, activities, and environments of the whore.  First, I say whore with neither a positive or a negative connotation.  Each case of being a whore needs to be considered solely on the character of the individual.  We all have a little whore in us, some a little more than others.  This is not to be confused with having a lot of whores in you.  That is a story for another day.

For this installment of Wednesday's with Whorie, we will look at how many is too many?  How many of what?  Sex partners.  How many is too many dicks, asses, or pussies?

So what have you kids heard out there on the street?  I'm asking you what number makes you a whore?

Next Episode:  Thursday's Theory...

Workin' the Poll

The poll has closed.  Here are the results.

With 100% of the precincts reporting we can successfully say that after a blow job you swallow.

However, these results far from unite us.  The vast majority of us are giving poor blow jobs or no blow jobs at all.

First, if you are giving a blow job, you already have the penis in your mouth.  Just swallow.  PUSSIES!

Second,  if you don't give blow jobs, who the hell do you think you are?  WHO?

Still Up:  Wednesday's with Whorie...

Textacular Tuesday

It's Textacular Tuesday!!!! Woo hoo!!!

On Textacular Tuesday we will examine common text pitfalls, correct etiquette, and some funny examples.

First off, I will never ever claim to be the grammar police.  Ever.  I'm from Tennessee.  I'm glad I finally learned to wear shoes and operate the 'pooter.  (Computer for you Yankee's.)  However, I can still speak, type, text, and understand, basic North American English.  Some of us are not so lucky.

Was I a little harsh?  Probably, but this is a common occurrence.  I'm not sure who popularized this type of "communicating", but it is obnoxious.

Key take away...

Save the text speak, jargon, and random jibber jabber for your close friends.  When talking to someone new keep it normal, as much as you can.

So I know you've all seen this, but are you guilty of it too?

Next Episode:  Wednesday's with Whorie...

Monday Me Time

Welcome to the first edition of Monday Me Time!  This one is all about me, and what's going on with my life.

I have been talking to a handsome guy recently, we actually even met up for dinner.  He seemed like a nice guy, and the dinner date went really well.  We both confirmed that it had.

When I meet someone I use the test drive rule.  The first date is a test drive.  Everything before then doesn't really matter, and we're not obligated to buy the car after the test drive.  That works for both parties.  No reasoning necessary.  I'm alway pretty up front about this.

I explained this policy to the handsome guy, and he responded enthusiastically with a "I'm the same way."  GREAT!

Well a week after the date I hadn't heard anything else from him.  So I texted him, and got a very short response.  Yes, everyone we can tell when you're being short in a text.  It's pretty clear when you don't want to be bothered.  So I tell him to text me whenever he can, and I would talk to him later.

Two weeks later....nothing.  So I text him again.  "Hi, How have you been?"  "Oh, crazy busy.  Sorry, I've been MIA."  Well, I give him the benefit of the doubt here, and let it go.

Two additional weeks later...still nothing back.  I finally relent and send him a simple "Good luck.  I hope you find what you're looking for."  He responds with the same sentiment back.

Yes, he could very well have been busy.  Sure he wasn't too busy to log in to the same app we met on and view my profile multiple times over those multiple weeks.  He was too busy to tell me he wasn't interested.

Clearly, he wasn't interested right?  The one thing that perplexes me, is why when given the opt out after a test drive didn't he use it?  It saves us both the trouble and drawing it out.

Did I do something wrong or am I missing something?

Next Episode:  Textacular Tuesday...